I'd like to start today's ramble by thanking the stupid woman who thought it would be a good idea to honk her horn outside my house at 7.45 this morning - she woke me up!!! Felt all discombobulated (yes that is a word, spellchecker) as I shot out of bed in a hurry!

Still, I suppose I needed to get up anyway. John was already up and had started painting - very impressed, in fact so impressed I made him a cooked breakfast! Eat your heart out Little Chef!!



I promised yesterday that I would sort all my shoes out today, John says I must have at least a dozen pairs (yes - at least...in reality I have no idea how many) trouble is I always think, I'll keep those - just in case. I was all ready to not only sort shoes but also wardrobe - until I suddenly got a cramp-like pain in my back - no seriously, it really hurt - which has left me in agony and barely able to move all day. I managed to sort two pairs of shoes and half a wardrobe - promising myself that I would do the rest later ... now is later and of course it's not done!

I managed to drag myself to Dunelm with John to look at curtains, I started to look at the curtaining for the bedroom but fell in love with a gorgeous fabric for the lounge, not at all what I intended.

I also wanted to buy a glass fruit bowl - just a cheap old thing the sort of thing I bought from Woolworth's all those years ago - and we want a cabinet type thing for DVDs and CDs - the sort of ting you'd have bought from ...MFI. This is the first time that I have really missed both stores - bizarrely. All I could find relatively cheaply bowl-wise was good old Pyrex - but that is not what I want! (sorry found myself really banging the keyboard then!) Ended up buying a chrome fruit bowl so that I can use the fruit bowl for salad, instead of the casserole dish I have been using!!

Hasn't today's weather been glorious (if you live in Suffolk, anyway)? Believe it or not it was too hot to sit in the garden for more than about an hour, I took the opportunity to take some photo's - I just love the intricacies of simple flower heads - hope you do too.

No more BGT for this year - Big Brother returns on Thursday. I hardly watched any of last year - must try not to get hooked on this year's either! My TV viewing habits are very sad really, like a bit of something that means I can escape from my reality!

Thanks for passing by...

Stupendously, Sunny Saturday

Great start to the day - actually slept through until 6am - I can hear you all thinking what only 6 - but boy is that something for me! Actually felt refreshed enough to get up and iron!!!

Hairdressers first then into town for sunnies! I'm not sure if I was ripped off into getting one pair free by paying stupid money for the first pair or not, I never get away with a really cheap deal 'cos of my prescription and varifocals but hey you only live once and least I can see! Went for really blingy sunnies with diamonte on the arm - dead glam! Got to wait a couple of weeks before they're ready but if you're good I'll show you a pic!

Those of you who know me really well will be surprised that I didn't watch the cup final this afternoon - I know, what was wrong with me? Basically, I can't stand Chelsea and it was kind of predictable that they would win, although after the Everton goal on 25 seconds I was tempted! Instead I trekked off to look at curtains for the bedroom (must have black out linings!!) - I came over all domesticated until I worked out that it will cost me a fortune to get them made to measure...mmm, I need a friend who's good at that sort of thing.........

Rounded the day off with a glass of Pinot Grigiot and chicken kievs for dinner (again - they had a short life on them!) and have just watched BGT - I won't vote so can't complain about the result but most of them were brilliant.

By the way, I have had a new viewer of the blog tonight - as promised, here is a picture from the new camera - I hope he doesn't check in again too soon!! Thanks John - if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be doing any of this (I think he's (very) secretly impressed!)

Farewell Friday

Said goodbye to a colleague today as she started her new life with early retirement - all the best Judy, it's been great working with you over the years.

Right, back to random stuff! What the hell were those seagulls doing at 3.45 this morning, screeching and squawking as if they own the place? Result - I lay awake and they disappeared as soon as they arrived, typical.

After an hour or so I thought I might as well get up, found Twitter strangely quiet at that time of the morning but the trans-atlantic tweeps were still going strong!

I'd like to mention @farctum, in real life somebody I know through work but now one of my virtual friends, she has posed the question on her blog 'What has Twitter done for you?' My answer would probably be that it has let me escape into a world of total banality, the seemingly mundane world of the celebrities who tweet about their lunch and the school run and last but not least it has introduced me to my cyber pen friend @jaydubblah! Poor J has had a fraught Friday today and reverted to a bottle of Chablis - cheers J, here's to friendship in whatever form it takes!

My dear friend Julie has given me permission to blog less often if I want to, the regular readers among you will recall that, when I first started blogging, it was Julie that was spurring me on to write everyday - do you think she's getting fed up with my ramblings? I have surprised myself with the enjoyment I have had from rambling for the last few weeks - strangely cathartic for some reason, my little escape from life.

Well, the weekend looms large. Decorating to finish (him not me), carpet to take up (again, him) - what shall I do? Oh yes, haircut first thing then I think I'll take myself off to buy some prescription sunglasses - shall I go for the uber trendy huge frames mmm... can't decide, I'll let you know! Oh yes - I'll fiddle with the new camera and hopefully post the results!

Thanks for stopping by!

Th, Th Thursday

No - I haven't developed a stutter, that's just me after my visit to the dentist (I know I'm really clutching at straws now with the alliteration!)

Well, I played hooky this morning before I went to the dentist! Got a few chores done before I went off to town - just wondering how many shirts a man can wear in the course of a few days?? Judging by the ironing basket about eight! (I'm interested now to see what ads Google give me for that one! Have you seen the ads lately? Damn clever - after yesterday's blog the ads turned to menopause remedies and solutions for sleeplessness, very clever)

My trip to the dentist was completely uneventful - laid back in the chair, opened my mouth and let her fill away!! Very numb face for a couple of hours but no other side effects, treated myself to an M&S BLT sandwich - which I didn't eat till 3.30 - I forgot that I hadn't eaten, most unusual for me!

Went out for more retirement drinks after work, just to a local pub this time. Had a great time slagging (watch the ads for that one!!) everybody off - just as well there weren't many other people around or we'll all be in big trouble!

Have the house to myself tonight - John has gone to see Nickleback with number 1 son and his girlfriend, number 2 son is at the girlfriends, dinner was a weight watchers risotto followed by rhubarb & strawberry ice cream - absolutely delicious! I really ought to go out more often - I've only just noticed that it's nearly 10 o'clock and I'm still wide awake!

I must go to bed now - I don't know what might happen to me after 10 o'clock - will watch BGT 2 though till I drop off!

Weary Wednesday

I was just struggling to come up with a W to describe Wednesday when I realised just how tired I am! Damn hormones are wreaking havoc again, HRT pretty good but only for three weeks out of four, never mind I'm allowing myself a bit of a lie-in tomorrow and not going to work until after I've been to the dentist - I know how radical am I becoming, eh?

Work OK again today, had a lovely lunch break with Lisa (again, how radical to actually have a lunch break and not work through with a sandwich!)

Wednesday has become a tradition now for number 2 son & girlfriend to have dinner with us, poor L has spent the day at her new job today, she's just got her first hairdressing job after college, she came in about 6.30 and looked sooo tired - almost made me feel good! After a simple but delicious (is that one worn out yet??) dinner of Kievs, jacket potatoes and salad they trundled off to their other home - with L's parents, wouldn't surprise me if she slept all evening.

I can feel the beginnings of withdrawal because BGT is not on TV - however I am quite happy at the moment because Manchester United are currently losing 1-0 (that'll teach 'em for thrashing Arsenal!!!)

I stumbled across a great blog this evening http://insideaileighsheart.blogspot.com/ really made me (and Julie) chuckle - take a look, I'm sure it will brighten your day too!! I'm trying to get to grips with the clever ways of adding links, meanwhile please make do with good old copy & paste!

If only...

Resimay

To hoom it mae cunsern, I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper.

I can Type realee quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting..

I think I am good on the phone and I no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me well. Certain men and all the ladies.

I no my spelling is not to good but fi nd that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety.

My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth, I can start emeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser. hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly, BRIAN

PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me.









Employer's response:

Dear Brian ,

It's OK honey, we've got spell check.

See you Monday..

Torrid Tuesday

Well at least it was when I got home! The sons had had a barney so the air was tense when we got home, all over waiting for delivery of the new fire which was due during the day - number 1 son agreed to wait in but got a bit fed up when there was no sign of it by mid afternoon, so decided to phone number 2 son to ask him to come home - let's say that diplomacy didn't rule! After much effing & blinding and a phone call to father which was also angry, the two of them were at loggerheads. Dad duly came home and continued to wait for said delivery and ended up going to B&Q at 5.30 to complain about non-delivery. It finally arrived at 6.45 - by which time tempers had not only frayed but started to ignite!!

In comparison work was actually OK! Just so glad it wasn't me that got the phone call!

Got the memory stick for the new camera - didn't really feel like photography though when everything had quietened down. Typically, the boys are now playing on the x-box like very best friends - all the angst they put us through, doesn't seem to get any better with age!

Got to get ready now for my fix of Britain's Got Talent - what the hell will they throw at us tonight?

Muggy Monday!

Today's title comes courtesy of number 2 son - I'm running out of original adjectives!

The day didn't start brilliantly with a car alarm sirening at 3.30am, must confess went straight back to sleep, but John clearly didn't, as he woke me up, at 5.30, when he decided to give up and go downstairs. I debated whether just to lie still and hope to go back to sleep but opted for a cup of tea and 10 minutes with my book - 'Friday Nights' by Joanna Trollope (I've been trying to read it for ages but seem to get pre-occupied with other things like, er - this!!) After dozing off for a couple of hours, finally got up around 8.30 - greeted by grey skies and high humidity - hence the post title.

Why do I feel so guilty when I sit down with my trusted friend lappy, knowing that I really should do the hundred-and-one jobs that need doing around the house. I keep finding myself saying 'I'll just finish this and then I'll get on with...' or 'Won't be a minute...' when I know I'll be a lot longer.

Hence today I have been very good, went to B&Q to choose paint - not that I don't trust John to go on his own but there has to be a project manager doesn't there? Went for Ivory Cream - special offer two 2.5 litre pots for £2o or £25 for one 5 litre pot - bit of a no brainer really! Also brought some alpines to plant where the old patio is quite buried by the new one - fingers crossed that the damn birds don't eat all the sedums like they did last time I planted them.

I planned to do the ironing after I'd planted and John had finished the dining room half of the room - that didn't happen and now I feel guilty 'cos number 1 son said 'Don't worry, I'll do it tomorrow'.

I've been thinking for some time about buying a new camera - would really like an SLR but must be realistic! Instead opted for Sony Cybershot - got a great deal as I spent my Nectar points and 20% staff discount from number 1 son's card - result, so I ended up only paying £35 for £200 camera - bargain!

Once I've worked out how to use it I'll share the results with you!

Decided to use the first of the lettuces for dinner tonight - only very tiny still, but oh so tasty - now need to plant some more seeds to keep cropping! See picture at top of post - I really must get to grips with the positioning of images - that can be my challenge for this week!

All in all a great weekend, weather fabulous for the most part as the rain has held off until this evening and loads of things done. Onwards and upwards now for the coming week!

Superbly Sunny Sunday

Had a great Sunday with our good friends, Linda & John, in Colchester. We've been friends now for 22 years after we moved to Colchester when I was pregnant for the first time. Invariably when we get together it rains or at least threatens to - yesterday was the exception, we had a glorious day sitting in their south facing back garden. Their grandchildren and eldest daughter spent the afternoon with us and poor John was exhausted after playing silly bs with the two year old - he forgets that he's not as young as he used to be!

We were home in time to watch the first semi-final of Britain's Got Talent - I know its tacky but somehow it's compulsive viewing. The big question is will Susan Boyle be able to hold off the young dance troupes - I think that they are the biggest threat to her victory.

Social Saturday

Once I'd managed to put the laptop down Saturday was very productive! Managed to get around the garden to pull up all of the forget me nots, take off the seed heads from the grape hyacinths - so pretty but boy do those tiny bulbs spread, such microscopic beginnings for an invader that really needs no cultivation!

I thought I ought to move all the veggie containers closer together and found what I can only describe as an ant farm underneath the carrot container! I'm trying to establish if ants have any purpose in life, other than churning earth into fine dust and leaving piles of it everywhere! Although having said that, the habitat they had created under the carrots was a very rich dark looking soil.

Whilst I slaved in the garden, John started to decorate the lounge diner in readiness for new flooring and fireplace. He decided to buy one of those paint things that they advertise on the shopping channels - you know, the ones that don't splash, drip etc - I think you know what's coming next...yep, all over the carpet that we promised to our friends who have just got a new house! Not his fault of course, the thread on one of the pods was faulty and as he started to roll the lid came off! No don't be silly, of course there was nothing covering the carpet 'just in case'. All was not lost as the paint did come up with a dose of Fairy liquid - phew!

Well, the title of this post is Social Saturday - you're probably wondering how solitary gardening falls into that category. Not known for being terribly impulsive, John invited the friend that I call Julie to visit when she phoned in the morning - I knew I'd brought that large lasagne for a reason! Julie and her daughter, who happens to be my god-daughter, arrived about 6pm and we had a lovely evening together - simple but delicious meal! You know, there was a time when I would have scorned ready made meals but life's too short isn't it? So much nicer to throw the ready meal into the oven, open the bag of already prepared salad leaves and tip the cherry tomatoes into the bowl. I did have to chop the cucumber into chunks and the pepper into slices.We then slobbed in front of the TV, firstly to watch the lovely John Barrowman and then the oddities who think they meet the criteria for the last word in Britain's Got Talent - why oh why do the judges put some of these people through?? The weirdest act ever last night - strange gothic looking bloke with huge holes in his ears, nose, lips,chin - eeewwww! He proceeded to chain a steel dustbin to his ears and swung it round - please don't tell me that the Queen would really want to spend an evening watching that???

Thank you Julie & E, for your company it's good to spend relaxing time together and I'm really please that we do that more often these days - whatever the reason!

Fun-Filled Friday Evening

Great evening out with work colleagues. We started at a wine bar before moving off to Zizis (they should be paying me for eating there!). There was a mixed group of us, probably aged between 35 & 55, some married, some single, others somewhere in between! Now, I need to be discrete here, Karyn (single) went off to the bar and came back talking animatedly to a bloke - probably in his early 40s (good age for her), turned out he knew somebody we knew (not going to divulge circumstances). They were both being incredibly flirtatious and things looked as if they could be promising - until he mentioned he had a girlfriend!! Said girlfriend duly arrived - if looks could kill...

Anyway, we moved on to eat - for some reason Zizis always pack large groups into tight spaces, leaving you sitting thigh to thigh and elbow to elbow. On this occasion it was the elbow situation that caused the problem - Janette, seated to my right, was knocked by Maria, sitting to her right resulting in Janette throwing a glass of wine (thankfully white) all over me, it was such a shock that it felt like a bucket of water, rather than a glass of wine! Oh - it also splashed over Cheryl who was sitting to my left! The immediate response from Karyn was 'That'll be in the blog tomorrow' how well she knows me! Ladies - thank you all for a lovely night out if you should ever read this!

All the years of ferrying the kids about has now finally paid off - number 1 son came to collect me at the end of the evening and drove me home, thanks son! (He will never see that comment!)

Just Thursday (and Friday)

Really can't think of an alliteration for Thursday - should it begin with 'th...' or just 'T' - let me know (if anybody cares!)

Great news for number 2 son, when he was serving a customer at the weekend he got into conversation with her and it transpired she was an estate agent (realtor for my American friends), he has been applying for such jobs for a while now so he told her this - she gave him her card and told him to call him on Monday!! Anyway, as a result of this chance meeting he had an interview yesterday and has been offered a job as a trainee negotiator, subject to the usual things!! He is over the moon as are we all - he looked lovely in his new suit, shirt & tie bought by his father - now keeping everything crossed that the plan comes to fruition.

The vigilant among you will have spotted that there has not been a mention of Julie for several posts, she is starting to get worried so Julie this is for you Julie, Julie, Julie! (You'll notice that I have buried this in the middle of a post just to see if she spots it ha ha!).

I've had the day off today, time to catch up with the housework and stuff. The electrician has been to put the point in for the new fire and has connected the outside light on the garage. I've cut the new lawn for the first time and, yes, it it a little patchy in places but it's a lot better than I thought it was going to be. I've now harvested the whole of the first crop of radishes and planted some more, planted beetroots (don't know why, I hate it!) and potatoes - just some scabby ones from the cupboard with loads of eyes, we'll just have to wait and see what happens with those!

OK - probably all blogged out for now, off out again this evening - I know, like buses, my nights out all come along together!

Wonderful Wednesday

Wow, wow, wow - John Barrowman was FANTASTIC on Wednesday at Ipswich Regent. OK he was heavy on the Gay side and at times very camp, but oh my - that man can hold a tune! He bounced on to the stage to Queen's 'Don't stop me now' and I really can't tell you much about what else he sang but they were all well known, toe-tapping type tunes, he finished off with 'I am what I am'. The man lives to entertain and seems, genuinely, to love the attention of his fans. He loved Ipswich (better than Liverpool he said - I know, he says that about everywhere he goes) and I would certainly go to see him if he did a return visit. Probably the most touching part of the evening was when JB brought his parents on to the stage to do the 'Slosh' with him! Now, I remember the dance from my dancing lessons as a teenager (always danced to 'Sugar' by The Archies) and no, I was not tempted to stand up and do it! Overall though the audience was well behaved and nobody even stood up until close to the end - by which time everybody stood up because you couldn't see otherwise!

Before going to the show, John (husband - not Barrowman :()and I went to the Chinese buffet opposite the theatre for something to eat, sitting by the window I was captivated by the members of the audience as they arrived. Unfortunately, I was sitting by a frosted piece of glass and had to lean forward to see, but boy was there a feast of blog-fodder! The audience was diverse in age, size and outfits. I personally don't get all this worlds biggest fan thing, but clearly there are people out there who do - feather boas ruled!

All in all an excellent evening - and I was really late to bed because we didn't get home till 10.45!!

Just a very quick post - the real stuff will follow later... Wow 170 views - thank you for dropping by whether it's just in passing (which is how I've come by some great blogs) or if you've been pointed in this direction by me!!

I appreciate your time!

Just wondering...

...can anybody tell me how to add other peoples blogs to my sidebar? As I wrote that it suddenly dawned on me maybe I need to add them as HTML - I'll give it a go after dinner!

Terrific Tuesday

Alliteration rules OK! Great day today work-wise! My all day meeting was cancelled and a temp, the lovely Clare joined us, hopefully for six weeks - everything crossed that she comes back tomorrow. I ploughed through shedloads of work today and actually feel quite satisfied with myself.

Number 1 son and girlfriend are cooking spaghetti bolognese for dinner - smells lovely, John has just poured a glass of wine - what more could a girl want. I might, just might, even tackle some ironing tonight!

No Speak English

A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived in Toronto . However, the poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message, and gave her the chicken legs.

Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to say it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts. The butcher understood again, and gave her some chicken breasts.

On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...
(Please scroll down)




What were you thinking?



Hellooooooo, her husband speaks English!

Monday, Monday...

...so good to me (I think) sorry starting to run out of alliterations all suggestions gratefully received.

OK day at work again! For the observant among you that's two good work days in a row! Managed to agree terms with the lady we appointed on Friday - result!! Plus also managed to agree a temp until she can start - fingers crossed she lasts longer than the last two we had!

Had a treat tonight and went to Zizzis for dinner with number 1 son - we used the vouchers they so kindly sent after the last visit when two of us ended up with gippy tummies! Keeping everything crossed this time! I played it safe and went for the carbonara - surely that should be OK??

Soggy Sunday!

Yuk - what a horrible day, woke up to rain at about 6.30, became optimistic about 8.30 and got soaked getting the washing in at 11.30.

Never mind, tomatoes and dwarf beans have been planted in grow bags - not sure if the beans are supposed to be in grow bags but they're planted now. Number one son made 'wigwam' supports for the beans, which promptly blew over when the wind got up - may have to rethink that one!

I've treated myself to a laptop bag - designed to keep it tidy at home and to protect the lap from heat!

I have also become addicted to the Gardenhood app on Facebook - I know, I need to exercise restraint. Trouble is it doesn't happen fast enough for me, the plants need to grow overnight and you run out of money really quickly so it's a matter of waiting and being patient - strangely enough I can do that in the real garden, no problem.

Something I won't be doing is naked gardening as currently being demonstrated on BBC1 Countryfile! How very bizarre!

Looking forward to the Chelsea Flower Show on TV this week - I keep promising myself a trip, I'm sure it's a fabulous day, maybe next year...

I have to confess that I have trouble lining up the photos with the text - if anybody who reads this has any hints or tips, I will receive them gratefully - please leave them in the comments box!

Had a good day today, although far too much of it has been spent with my lap warmed by my laptop! I wonder how long before John regrets buying it for me??

I confess also to doing a little work work on it - needed to do some online shortlisting so took advantage of John going to B&Q. Twenty four applicants for one job - I don't mean to be unfair but why don't people look at the job description and person spec when applying? They'd save themselves (and me) so much time - for example - what would make a 16 year old straight from school think they could be a senior secretary?? I feel mean because everybody has to start somewhere but don't the schools give them any guidance these days???? Sorry, starting to sound like a grumpy old woman - must stop at once (slapped wrists all round!)

Must dash now - Eurovision calls...what do we think the UK chances are really???

Succesful Saturday!!

The work has started to replace the fire place - now have a gaping hole in the wall (temporarily covered by a lovely green piece of something) and a gap in the carpet.

Ooooh - just noticed some very dodgy ads in the earlier pages - how the hell do I remove them???????

Bear with me on this one - pretend for me OK?

Sorry if I haven't blogged for a while my car needed washing again, I went to the car wash and had to have it re washed three times - they kept missing spots, so if you don't hear from me for a while - you'll know where I am

Clever!

Mmmm - how clever are the 'people' at Google Ad-sense! Just noticed that my ads are starting to appear and they actually have relevance to my posts!! Even offering a Freezer repair service in Bushey - coincidentally the town I was born in, but I don't believe they knew that!

And look - I've managed to add the signature, whooo hooo!

TGI Friday!!!

Excellent day today - hurrah I hear you all virtually saying! No seriously, it's been a great day - compliment received very early in day (professionally of course!) and interviews were fab - very disappointed that the first candidate didn't turn up as her CV was brilliant but out of six people we could have appointed five - what a luxury, the recession has its benefits although all of them apart from one are currently employed. We have made our choice and the announcements will be made next week (exercising caution here - you never know somebody else may read this post!!!)

Sadly lovely Lisa couldn't work today because she wasn't well - took the edge off what would have been her final day. Never mind, she's not going far away.

Exciting news on the agricultural front - the double pot things for tomato plants have arrived so I will plant the tomatoes at the weekend, the crops already planted are doing well and the water butt is actually overflowing from last nights rain. The lawn now has far fewer brown patches and you can barely see the joins!

Time for dinner - not much left after freezer disaster - pie & chips all round!

Off for a glass of wine now - blog later!

Wet Friday - very early!

Ahh - woken by the rain this morning, actually quite glad to hear it. I think there's somthing comforting about a quiet morning and the splodge of rain as it falls.

Too tired (again) to blog last night, but, for those of you who give a damn, had a far better day at work yesterday - thank you! A lot calmer and the boss lives to fight another day! I will be spending most of today with her interviewing for a replacement for the lovely Lisa who leaves us today for better things. I hope she will be very happy,

Will update later - hopefully we will get a good result today - the two temps who have tried the job this week only lasted half a day each! And before you ask, no it wasn't my fault as I was hardly around!! Oh please let there be the right person today - I'm a really lovely person to work for, honestly, and as previously mentioned practising my restraint!! That also needs to include treatemnt for my presumed Touretts!! If only I could speak in symbols!
More later - wish me luck!!

Woeful Wednesday

Ohhhh, I'm tired today. Not good at work for various reasons, but mustn't become too caught up with it all - after all it is only a job! I tried to make a real effort to exercise my restraint mode but will confess to coming very close to completely losing it with my lovely boss, really must try harder - bring on tomorrow, it's another day.

I'm sorry that this is not more exciting or entertaining today - who knows, maybe tomorrow will be better - keeping everything crossed, thanks for bearing with me,

A day at a country hotel

Well, great start to the day, picked up the hire car at 8 to head towards Hintlesham Hall for my day of training. I had the route planned out in my head then heard on the radio that there was heavy traffic on the A14/A12 so I decided to go through town - usual rush hour traffic there but still making good time. Until I reached the road to Hintlesham - absolute gridlock, nothing moving in either direction for ages. I could see the sign '2 1/2 miles to Hintlesham. 10 minutes later, still 2 1/2 miles to Hintlesham. 1o minutes later we start to move - cause of delay was temporary traffic lights stuck on red in both directions! Finally arrive with about 2 minutes to spare.

Today is the start of a years course in Leadership training - the diagnostic phase, we will receive feedback on the 360 degree questionnaires that we had to coerce our bosses, peers and staff to complete for us. Two very nice facilitators take us through the day and we're all sitting round like members of Alcoholics Anonymous ...my name is and - you get the picture! We're asked to name an inspirational leader - help, my mind is blank. For once I don't speak first - need to see what other answers people will come up with - Nelson Mandela (of course), Bill Clinton (!) so far so good, then somebody came up with a woman who runs an orang utan sanctuary!!! My turn - Joanna Lumley - for all the stuff she is doing with the Gurkhas!!! But everybody seemed to agree - phew that could have gone either way!

After the niceties we get our feedback amalgamated by the computer - remember now, no right or wrong answers, no good or bad scores - just other peoples perception of you!! Scary moment - you can sort of tell who thinks what, especially as there is only one person in the boss category!! The good news is that effective leaders peak in the middle scores and the high and low scores do sort of cancel each other out bizarrely - and guess what - most of the group are in the middle range!! We have to have something to aim for though and my weakest area is restraint! Must stop wearing my heart on my sleeve - start to count to 10, articulate my feelings in a more constructive way, ie don't let people know how p****d off I am immediately!!!!! Watch out world, the new calm me will be on the loose from tomorrow - OMG that could be so hard - watch this space!

Oh Happy Day!

My dreams have come true - I am the proud owner of a new sparkling laptop! Little did John know that I had stood longingly at the weekend, trying to justify the expense - could use son's staff discount, plus Nectar card points but that would still leave me short... now I can sit beside him on the sofa Tweeting, Facebooking & blogging the evening away - pure bliss!

I sat at work today thinking that I'd love to spend my days writing creatively - used to love it at school, all those years ago, found it all quite easy. But then reality bites - it won't pay the bills will it? Now the laptop has arrived who knows!

Back to domestic matters and good news on the agricultural front - the peppers seem to have started to grow, my son was sooo pleased! I must say I was too - otherwise it would be a fiver down the drain!! And the grass is starting to green up as well, number 2 son proudly announced that it was due to the fact that he had drenched it to puddling last night.

That's all for now - need to investigate the rest of this beautiful machine!

Sunday, Sunday...

Had to defrost the 'frost-free' freezer this morning. The red light has been coming on for a while and the engineer came a couple of weeks ago but couldn't fix it because it was frozen solid. Started to empty the freezer only to find that most of the contents had defrosted - ended up throwing a black bin bag full of rotting meat and fish in the bin - John said 'Lets have that leg of lamb for dinner' I don't think so!!

Well, for something frost free, let me tell you it took some defrosting - about two hours with my hair drier! Then the inevitable happened - I couldn't work out where all the ice was going to, then discovered there was a pool of water over the kitchen floor! Good old number 1 son to the rescue! He remembered the engineer explaining the workings of the freezer to him - there's a drip tray at the back that would normally just dissipate the water - not today though!

Isn't it amazing what you find under the appliances that you never move out (or am I the only one that doesn't move them out when I wash the floor?)?

The good news is that when we switched the freezer back on, the horrendous noise had stopped and it appears to be working OK again - dilemma now is do I cancel the engineers visit for Tuesday and take a chance?

With that job done, it was off to buy a birthday present for number 2 son - hadn't really left it to the eleventh hour (his birthday is tomorrow!) - I've been asking for ages what he would like but just got the typical teenage shoulder shrug and grunt, ended up with a voucher for theatre/concert tickets he can chose what he'd like to do then.

I'm feeling really guilty now because I have sat in the garden and read the paper this afternoon, knowing that there are other things that need doing but what the hell - it's Sunday after all!

Better wrap this up for now and reacquaint myself with the ironing board - I may be back later!

Today & yesterday

Yesterday was fun! Day off work, planned to do the housework in the morning and to meet Julie in the afternoon for shopping.

Lovely start to the morning, cloudy sky - quite windy - decided to take a chance with hanging the washing out (I am obsessed with line drying washing). The inevitable happened, just get out of the shower to find a few spots of rain on the windows - nothing unusual there - it was so windy I thought it was bound to blow over, how wrong! Rushed out into the garden with flip-flops on - I had forgotten just how difficult it is to walk in the wet with flip-flops (even my classy gold coloured ones), managed to stay upright but got soaked and had to add to global warming with the tumble drier (I can't believe I've just written a whole paragraph about the laundry!!)

Both of my boys were home yesterday morning as well, number 1 son surfaced about 10.30 and proceeded to clean his room and the bathroom - yes, without being asked! Number 2 son arrives home at 8.30, goes back to bed and resurfaced about 11 -promptly sat on his backside moving only from the sofa to the PC when I vacated the chair! How different can two boys be? Bring on martyred mother, a role I have become very expert in, bemoaning the fact that my day off was spent doing housework etc - he finally swept the kitchen floor, bless him!

I left home in atrocious weather to meet Julie but we had a great time, I accomplished my mission of buying number 1 sons' girlfriends' birthday present - its a secret just in case she should ever stumble across my ramblings - plus a few other bits, including shoes that I will need to confess to at some time soon. Had a pleasant drive back to Julies' shouting obscenities at a young man in a BMW - Julie's idea, not mine (ouch - I felt that), had simple but delicious dinner together and then home to bed.

As you can see from the pics below I have spent most of the day gardening - strangely soothing I find, no opportunity for the mind chatter that gets in the way at other times. I feel quite satisfied with my achievements today - back aches but hey, just another ache to complain about!

Going to veg out now in front of the TV - Britain's Got Talent, but its also got dillusionists, coming up next - I wonder what tonight will give us??

Ducks in Heaven

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, 'We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on the ducks!'

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ..... Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says 'I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?' The guy says 'I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck.'

Julie tells me I need photos! Probably gone over the top but here we go. Just had the lawn relaid and a new patio. I've spent the morning trying to put the garden back together - the patio is about 4 inches higher than the last one so we had a sudden drop in the flower beds, the patio man put some top soil down but buried half of my plants! I've now tenderly replanted and moved the soil round a bit. Taken a few cuttings of aubretia and dianthis as well - fingers crossed they take.

Radishes!!

My first harvest, really difficult to see just how small they are but believe me they were very tasty!

Sorry - not much humour tonight

Am I glad today's my Friday! Only worked three days this week and am fit to drop already. Day off tomorrow and I'm going to have a girly afternoon with the friend that I call Julie - shopping, something we haven't done for years!

Have absolutely nothing of any interest to say today so I won't bore you by giving you anymore to read!

And finally...

...just finished the online shopping - it's great that the Nectar card puts the things you buy on your favourites! My boys use my Nectar account - you should see some of the things that appear in my favourites! Now, Now - nothing like that - yet!

Wednesday evening and the nearest delivery slot is 9am Saturday - popular service or not enough deliveries? I was really hoping to time it for Friday when I'm out so somebody else would have to put it all away - now there's an idea for a business. Cupboard fillers are us - does it have any mileage do you think?

Must stop now - been sitting here for hours prevaricating, shoulders are aching and I'm just starting to see the insides of my eye lids!

ha ha

So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' And I swerved.

And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again.' And I swerved again.

He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?'

And I said 'I careered off the road.'

Poor piglet...

What - no blogging?

I missed a day - my dear friend Julie is getting withdrawal symptoms, so it's imperative that I ramble for a while this evening!

No blogging yesterday - just didn't have time. Had the pleasure of a trip to the dentist after work (mmm 2 fillings and scale & polish to follow!) and then the real pleasure of the lovely Carl rubbing my feet for reflexology, always feels so good.

Strangely, the past couple of days at work have not been too bad. All quite calm even though the 'big' boys (well, women in suits) were in yesterday from the equivalent of the regional office - targets heh, who'd have them?? (Still not giving away too much about work am I?). Today has been spent validating and doing odds & sods of other work which gets in the way of the targets!

My friend, who shall remain nameless, has just told me about a magic woman who makes grey hair disappear and takes photos to make her look gorgeous - call me cynical but it won't last - the grey hair will grow back and the colour fade, sorry to burst your happiness bubble! Oh that's right - your son has already done that hasn't he!!!

Well, time to eat - number two son and girlfriend are here for their tea tonight (or is it dinner - always changing what I call it - but never supper!!) Lazy meal, carbonara sauce and those little packs of stuffed pasta from Sainsburys.

You'll be pleased to know that Twitter seems to have managed to block the saddos that keep pushing porn sites - why can't I get something interesting?

As I'm writing this I'm still convinced that only Julie will read it - if I'm wrong for God's sake tell me - I may have to change my content in case it offends!

Cadbury's Chocolate Warning (...not limited to Cadburys)

DO YOU EAT CADBURY'S CHOCOLATE?

We were raised on CADBURY'S chocolate as kids and even into adulthood. I will never eat it again. I hope from now on you will throw yours away whenever you are given any . It seems as though nothing is safe to eat anymore. This is what happens when you eat Cadbury's chocolate! THIS IS A MEDICAL WARNING! It could happen to you, your family and friends.

Dogs attack Alligator

At times nature can be cruel, but there is also a raw beauty, and even a certain justice manifested within that cruelty. The alligator, one of the oldest and ultimate predators, normally considered the "apex predator", can still fall victim to implemented 'team work' strategy, made possible due to the tight knit social structure and "survival of the pack mentality" bred into the canines. See the remarkable photograph below courtesy of Nature Magazine. Note that the Alpha dog has a muzzle hold on the gator preventing it from breathing, while another dog has a hold on the tail to keep it from thrashing. The third dog attacks the soft underbelly of the gator.



Not for the squeamish ... er, ticklish.

I knew I shouldn't have started this...

Bank holiday Monday. The morning has been spent with my beloved, trying to find places that sell fires & fire surrounds ended up in B&Q (other DIY stores are available) - bargain! Half the price of the posh shops - only draw back is you have to fit them yourselves, hope the boys will be up for the challenge!

I'm really pleased that I have made my friend Julie famous (if only in her own mind) by mentioning her yesterday - see I've done it again so she's twice as famous!!! I don't know if anybody else will ever read what I'm writing - always wondered that with Twitter though and look at me now, I have conversations with people even though I only really know four of the people that I follow or who follow me! I also seem to have managed to attract some very dubious would-be (female) followers who tell me they're looking for love! Not to worry - the men at Twitter seem to be on to them.

It's a shame the weather is so miserable today - really grey skies and quite chilly - 'cos I really need to get out into the garden. We have decided to grow veg this year - only in pots so not too adventurous - watch this space for the progress. So far we have planted strawberries in one of those strawberry pots - loads of flowers so fingers crossed, lettuce, radishes and mini carrots. My son planted peppers but I fear that they may be doomed to fail as there are no signs of life after several weeks :(.

John has just made me a sandwich for my lunch - how thoughtful of him, as (if) you get to know me thorough this blog, you will find that I'm not always so kind about him (that doesn't include Julie 'cos she already knows!)

Time to knuckle down now and finish the ironing and other bits. Back to work tomorrow so must prepare myself mentally for the onslaught.

How to tell the sex of a bird

This is AMAZING!!!

Until now I never fully understood how to tell the difference between male and female birds.

I always thought it had to be determined surgically.

Until Now. Above are Two Birds. (they should be below but I can't work out how to get the gif any lower :()

Study them closely...see if you can spot which of the two is the female. It can be done. Even by one with limited bird watching skills.!

My other waste of time

Forgot to mention earlier that I am also hooked on Blip FM - user name Easternsparkle :)

Tiffany's

A lady walks into Tiffany's.

She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind.Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?'

Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little 'accident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?'

He answers, 'Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to sh*t yourself when I tell you the price.'

A short story

A college class was told that they had to write a short story in as few words as possible. They were told that the story had to include the following three items:

Religion

Sexuality

Mystery

The only one in the class to score A+ was this:

Good God, I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?

This quote has been kindly given to be my friend, who I shall call Julie ('cos that's her name!)

Forget botox and face lifts
Try a dimmer switch and an older man

My 1 day employment

Please note - this is not about me!! This comes courtesy of my good friend Scott (for those of you who don't know K-Mart is a store in the US)

So after landing my new job as a K-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day......

About two hours into the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids,yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning and welcome to K-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'
So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at K-Mart.'
My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.

The Lonely Brain Cell

Once upon a time there was a female brain cell which, by mistake, happened to end up in a man's head.
She looked around nervously because it was all empty and quiet.
'Hello?'she cried, but no answer.
'Is there anyone here?' she cried a little louder,but still no answer.
Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared. So she yelled at the top of her voice 'HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?'

(Keep Reading)






Then she heard a faint voice from far, far away....'We're down here .'

Feeling a bit sniffly...? Tail looking a bit wiggly...?

I thought that I would try to use this blog in attempt to share some of the humerous things that come into my inbox occasionally - please bear with me 'cos I really don't know how succesful it will be!

What have I done now?

Early Sunday morning and I have found myself creating yet another diversion - a blog. Not content with Twittering and Face Booking I have taken the plunge into a longer method of boring everybody with my lifes happenings - or non-happenings! If you stumble across me by accident, please leave me a greeting (preferably polite) and if I have been brave enough to tell you personally about this - please humour me, I think it may have something to do with my age!!