I've started the build up to my 'acting up' period at work – no, silly, I don't mean a period of having mad tantrums and generally misbehaving (although it may well come to that!)
As I'm writing this I am not sure whether or not I will hit the publish button, but I'm going to continue anyway.
As I've mentioned before, my boss is leaving and that momentous day is now only 10 working days away and for five of those days she is on annual leave. So it's up to me to now start assuming the mantle, we're making joint decisions and sharing the responsibilities for day to day stuff. She has a wealth of experience within our service having worked professionally in health all of her working life, which, compared to my mere eight years, is quite a feat. She always seems to know the right answer, to make the right decision, to use the right words – she has a real presence. I on the other hand feel technically competent – by that I mean I can manage the targets, manage the budgets, think on my feet to get things done now, I think can motivate the team, I can empower others – but I still have this little niggle of doubt that I am competent enough to deliver the whole package.
This is by far the highest level that I have ever worked at in my whole life. I have a milestone birthday coming up (which doesn't take a genius to calculate given the ages of my offspring) and that alone scares me. I could hopefully retire in 10 years time if my occupational pension will pay sufficient and I am starting to doubt my sanity in even agreeing to act up.
Regardless of all of the above I have agreed to do the job so I need to make a go of it. The interviews for a replacement were held yesterday and from what I've heard, boy, I'm so glad I didn't apply. There were some really tough questions and presentation requirements as befits the level of job.
I don't know how often I'll blog for the next few months (although it may only be a matter of weeks if they appointed yesterday, information that I am not privy to) but I might, at times, need to pour my soul into cyberspace just to get things off of my chest – remember my theory, I only write this for myself and the friend that I call Julie, so if you're reading this and you're not Julie please bear with me!
So, as I sit on Saturday morning, 21 November 2009, all snug in my pink pyjamas (albeit with icy cold feet – still no slippers) I'm ready for it. I have a feeling of anticipation, expectation and dread. I have an incredibly full diary for the next two months thanks to the lovely V (it's that time of year when all of the fixed meeting dates are issued!) who has agreed to take on half of my role for the period – the other half will be covered by the equally lovely I.
Thanks for reading – if you have – I really appreciate everybody's visits.