Sunday 9 May 2010

Helping Hand

I’ve been sucked in again by the wonderful Jenny who, not content with making me stretch my brain cells for Alphabe-Thursday, has now devised Saturday Centus. Each week she will give us a starter paragraph which we have to finish off in 100 words or less – harder than it looks. My first attempt ended up with 124 and it took me back to school days to make it fit.

The paragraph in italics was the starter.

My untied shoelace changed my life. As I leaned down to re-tie it, I had kicked away a few leaves. When I turned my head slightly to look where the leaves had been. I was astonished to see a rubber-banded wad of hundred dollar bills nestled in a little indention in the muddy ground.

I looked around, had anybody else seen it? After what I had been through this was an omen.  I cautiously leant forward and touched the bundle – I could smell a cross between damp leaves and used bills. Shivering I gripped the bundle tightly in my right hand while I pushed myself up with my left. Suddenly I became aware of somebody close by and looked around. It was my father – he smiled at me. The years slipped away, the self abuse melted. I reached out and he took my hand. I didn’t need the money.

14 comments:

  1. 100 words that were very thought provoking

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  2. Very moving and intriguing 100 words!
    Well done!

    Happy Mother's Day,my friend!
    You look BEAUTIFUL, then and NOW!
    You are such a wonderful friend and MOTHER!
    May this Mother's Day be one of the best with more to come in years!
    YOU ROCK, MOMMY!
    hugs
    shakira

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  3. WOW. Chills. Very well done!!

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  4. Nice job. Left me wanting more....

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  5. Like others have said - want to know more. Excellent 100 words to get so much in!

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  6. I liked the descriptions - very good use of adjectives - and good ending - left us wanting more!

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  7. Wow, this is great. Very interesting and thought provoking about what's really important. Good job!!

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  8. Very descriptive, I almost felt like I was there.

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  9. Holy cow. Holy cow. After I got done laughing at the "sucked in" part I read your story twice.

    How compelling. How imaginative.

    Wow.

    Really.

    I am love, love, loving this!

    And Mr. Jenny is going to start writing the prompts this Saturday so I don't "cheat" he says!

    Thanks for trying this.

    It made me shiver.

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  10. Amazing! I'm totally impressed, and as others have said, I want to know more!

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Hey, thanks for stopping by my ramblings! Thanks for taking the time to comment - I really appreciate it. Looks like the spammers have got the message so I'll remove moderation!