Thursday 28 January 2010

B is for ...Brother


Well – I bet that has surprised those of you that kindly made suggestions, you weren't expecting that one were you! I warn you the beginning of this a little maudlin but it gets better.


I don't have one, John has two and my sons have one each. I did have a brother but sadly he was killed in a road accident when he was eight years old. I was ten at the time but still recall so clearly the evening's events. I had come home from Brownies to find my Mum beside herself because David was nowhere to be seen. At the time we lived just outside London, separated from the capital by the A1 trunk road a busy road even forty years ago. He was actually killed on that road as he attempted to cross on his bike to collect world cup coins from a petrol station. He was killed outright so didn't suffer. My parents never recovered – especially my Mum. My Dad was more resilient, finding comfort in the bottom of a beer glass and eventually moving on to pastures new and a readymade new family. My Mum's health went downhill slowly from that point as first her physical health deteriorated and subsequently her mental health. I lost my Mum to mental illness when I was about 19, she lived another 11 years but was not 'Mum' she was somebody else altogether. My boys never knew her as they should have done and John only met her as a shell of her formal self.


Since number one son moved out earlier in the year, I have sensed a shift in the relationship between the boys. I knew it would happen at some time but I suppose I wasn't anticipating it just yet. They spend evenings together now playing. Yes, that's right I said playing. Thank heavens for the invention of the video game (or whatever they're called) because nowadays they can beat the living daylights out of each other in good humour playing boxing games on the X-box. No blood or bruises, tears or tantrums. I'm pleased that they can finally be friends as well as brothers. I can remember saying once when they were very young that whatever happened they would always be there for each other and I'm pleased that that prophecy has come true.


Weren't they sweet all those years ago? They'll kill me for this one...


14 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry that a tragedy like that happened in your family. Thank you for sharing something so personal on B day.

    Those boys of yours look like that could be real troublemakers if they wanted to be!!

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  2. i have 3 brothers and couldn't imagine life without them. i am very sorry to hear of your brother and mum. B is also for brave...for sharing this.

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  3. What a terrible tragedy. I can't imagine losing my brother now, much less when I was young. I'm so happy that your boys got to grow up together and are now friends. And that picture of them is adorable, but they probably wouldn't be thrilled to know that we are all looking at it right now! Thank you for sharing your story, I'm sure it wasn't easy to do. Hugs, Kathy

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  4. That's so sad about your brother. I don't know how parents get over some thing like that. How adorable those boys are, I bet they're just as adorable now LOL.

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  5. Oh my gosh! What a terrible thing. It was awful enough to lose your brother so tragically, but so much worse because of what happened to your parents afterwards. My sister was hit by a car when she was about 12, but she lived. I saw it happen and it was so scary... I couldn't do anything to stop it... I had just climbed on the school bus, and she was almost ready to get on behind me when she realized she forgot something in the house and ran back across the road to fetch it. A car came around the bus and hit her. (they didn't have no passing laws where we lived at the time) I could see it happening through the bus windows and my reaction was to scream "NO!'... but how is that going to stop a car on the street? She bounced off the front hood and landed in the street. Obviously we didn't go to school that day. She was in bed, flat on her back for a while, as the docs were concerned about her back. But she was fine after about two weeks. We were lucky. It was a small car (a VW Bug) and I think that was the only thing that saved her.

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  6. Hi! Thanks for sharing such a tragedy. I think the messages of loss of so good to remind us of the message of thanksfulness.

    I loved the picture of your boys! They look like they kept you hopping!

    Thanks for B-ing party of this!

    A+

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  7. My Inlaws have lost two of their siblings to unfortunate accidents. God has a strange way to remind us of our fate sometimes. But it does give you the chance to remember to live life to the fullest!. So sad that your Mum was so overwhelmed.
    Judy

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  8. I too lost a brother in tragedy. I know how overwhelming that is for a family. God Bless you and your endurance!

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  9. I, too, lost my brother at a fairly young age (he was 18 and I was 19) I am sorry for the tragedy of that day and beyond. A prayer will be said in his honor this evening. God bless.

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  10. I saw my mum knocked down by a car when I was 8. Thank God she recovered eventually but it took a while. I'm sure this kind of thing shapes the way you are and your relationships in later life in a very profound way. Love the photo, all three of them are lookers! Luv Jx

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  11. I'm so sorry about your brother. The accident certainly changed all your lives.

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  12. Oh I am so sorry for the pain that you and your parents must have endured. You boys look so cute in that picture!

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  13. Lovely post! Your boys must be handsome men now. How wonderful that they are also good friends. I lost my older brother to an accident when he was a young father. Difficult to accept. All these years later we have his two children and now two of his grandchildren to carry on his legacy. Thanks for sharing your story.

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