MALE V FEMALE AT THE CASH MACHINE

This post is bought to you courtesy of the friend that I call Julie…. 

A new sign in the Bank  reads:
'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through cash machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. 
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. 
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'
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MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. LOWER your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Raise window. 
7. Drive off. 
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FEMALE PROCEDURE:
(Unfortunately, most of this  is the Truth!!)
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine. 
3. Put hand brake on, put the window down. 
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 
5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up. 
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN .
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt. 
16. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in back of it. 
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card. 
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided! 
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you. 
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on mobile phone. 
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Hand Brake. 

Another Gender Battle

An Inbox gem from Tracey....

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.'
'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.


The women's group, however, concluded that computers should beMasculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.